My name is Shelley and I am a 42 y.o. San Antonio, Tx. widow, since May '94. I moved here from Houston in 1995. I was only 34 at the time of his death. I studied grief when I lost my first child, in 1987, and began grief-counseling when my husband died, for myself, & my three children, who were only 5, 9 and 13 years old. Now I volunteer as a grief facilitator for those newly grieving. In my grief, I have dealt with some tough issues. I lost family members and friends within short periods of time after my own husband's death. I was alienated by some, and asked by others to financially help them & then was never paid back, even as they watched me be forced into bankruptcy. I learned a lot of things, mostly God's faithfulness. I hope you understand you are prayed for by many and loved by God. He has not forsaken you, and you are not alone in your grief. He reaches for you now in the midst of your pain. Sometimes the best healing God can perform is to take our loved ones home...  That is a painful truth that will eventually, not immediately, bring you peace. Even if you are angry about your loss, don't deny your feelings, but work through them! You can't overcome grief without finding God in it!